Recently, I came across an article on teenage moms in the Philippines. It showed just how lacking our country is in providing proper sex education, especially among lower income households. It made me think about my own experience discovering sex, and I realized that even if I grew up relatively well off, there were still people in my social circle who shared with me misguided or downright wrong ideas about sex. I have always been highly sexual, and my curiosity about the subject, together with my love for learning, pushed me to research whenever adults told me things about sex that I didn’t fully understand. I never believed that it is wrong to talk openly about sex, and yet many conservative adults still prefer to sugarcoat or avoid explaining some things. I recall encountering many unscientific ideas that if I myself had believed and acted upon, could have had disastrous consequences. I want to share and refute these, because I believe in the importance of talking candidly about sex. I hope I can help more teenagers learn the facts and help more adults have healthier and happier sex lives. Below are the sex myths that I’ve encountered and will debunk.
Myth #1: Tampons make you lose your virginity.
I was once told by an adult that tampons should be used only by married women. This was so confusing to me, as I was in grade school and I had classmates who used tampons. I later on realized that the adult probably believed that inserting a tampon would lead to virginity loss, or it may break the hymen. But hymens differ in shape and size, some girls never even have hymens to begin with, and hymens can tear from some kinds of exercise. Whether or not a hymen is intact is not a good indicator of virginity. Besides, it can be argued that the concept of female virginity hinges on the fragile ego of some males and their need for dominance. If a man with liberal views is confident and secure about himself, so-called virginity of his partners should be a non-issue. So if you are single and want to explore using tampons or much better, menstrual cups (they’re a life-changer), don’t let people tell you that you shouldn’t.
Myth #2: Wear two condoms to be extra protected.
I had a friend who confessed that she would require her partner to wear two condoms during sex to double the protection. Not only is this wrong, but it could seriously backfire. Condoms are not made to rub against each other. Doubling the condoms could increase the risk of both condoms breaking, and thus lead to pregnancy or STIs. Wearing two condoms also sounds uncomfortable and not very satisfying for the wearer.
Myth #3: Females should not reach orgasm or else they will get pregnant.
Another friend shared with me that his ex-girlfriend would always ask him to stop in the middle of having sex. She believed that if she got too turned on, she would get pregnant. Sex without contraception, improperly used contraception, or unreliable contraception is what will result in pregnancy. Females do not get pregnant from getting an orgasm. I really hope people who think this will come across this post, so they can learn the truth and start having better sex!
Myth #4: It’s your partner’s fault if you feel the need to fake orgasms.
A friend in a long-term relationship said that her partner was bad in bed, because she never came with her partner and she would just pretend to orgasm. Sex is short for sexual intercourse. The prefix “inter” means “between.” One implication I see is that good sex requires, first and foremost, open and honest communication. By deceiving her partner through faking her pleasure, she never allowed good sex to happen between them. She never communicated properly what she needed. So who really among the two was bad at sex?
Myth #5: Bigger is always better.
Media and the porn industry show a big penis to be the ideal size for men. However, friends with sexual experiences with partners with big penises have confessed that more often than not, it was painful and not enjoyable. One friend also recounted how her partner had a big penis, but he always had difficulty keeping it fully erect. This would cause awkward lags during sex, though a little creativity could have been applied to make sex still enjoyable (a man after all has a mouth and hands too). Bigger is definitely not necessarily better. Good sex is not about size but about skill and resourcefulness. For example, a man with a big penis and a woman with a short vagina may still enjoy sex together if they are able to find mutually comfortable positions.
These misconceptions about sex are quite common and often go uncorrected, because many people don’t like to talk about sex. I hope that this post can give people some enlightenment on certain aspects of sex. Sex should not be taboo. Sex is normal and healthy.
Have you encountered the same sex myths? Or have you heard other misguided notions on sex? Share them here or send me a message. I’d love to hear about them. Stay safe, healthy, and sexy, everyone! 😘